April 1st special: 99% off forever 🦄
April 1st special: 99% off forever 🦄You’d be a fool not to take it
I’m no fool. But I am an April Fool. I started Jacob’s Tech Tavern in 2023 with a typewriter and a dream: to set up a company blog and impress my old boss. Sadly, he didn’t have time to read it, so I lost patience and set up my own thing, untethered from pithy constraints such as “brand protection” and “nob joke aversion”. As I gained popularity over 2024 I got a new dream: to make beer money. Today, in 2026, I am on a moderate health kick. You know what that means? Every beer I cut back on is pure profit. Like all great businessmen, I’m celebrating the season by offering 99% off. Forever. 99. Percent. Off. This discount lasts your entire life. Perhaps longer, if your loved ones, in a grief-stricken admin screw-up, forget to cancel your cards before the monthly renewal. If there’s any lesson to be gained from this note, it’s to lock in a cheap life insurance premium while you’re young. Oh, and to subscribe to my blog. Paid members get 3 nice things: 🌟 Access Elite Hacks, my exclusive advanced content You’d be a fool to miss out*.
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